England 1996 Home
England 1996 Home
Product Details
Product Details
Material : 100% Polyester
Vibe : 100% Nostalgic
Sizing : Small, Medium, Large, X-Large & XX-Large are available. Pleae refer to our Sizing Chart to make sure you select the correct size.
Care : Advisable to hand wash this item, although, if machine washed, do so on low temperatures, like 20 or 40 degrees. Avoid Tumble dryers.
Warning : Heads may turn your way when rocking this shirt, especially if you also have a 90's haircut, many people may think you are a time traveller.
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England 1996 Home Shirt – For Fans Who Think “Football’s Coming Home” is a Threat, Not a Song 🏴🎤
Slip into this Umbro masterpiece and relive the summer England invented new ways to break hearts 💔, courtesy of Gareth Southgate’s penalty (yes, that Southgate) and a semi-final exit so very England, even the weather cried. ☔ Managed by Terry Venables (suave, tracksuited, and 100% done with the tabloids), this squad finished semi-finalists in Euro ‘96 – aka “so close, yet so Gazza’s stretched toe away”.
Crafted by Umbro (with a collar so crisp it could cut through national despair), this kit screams “we’ve got three lions, 30 years of hurt, and a Baddiel & Skinner earworm”. The dark blue trim? A nod to the tears we’ve repressed since 1966.
Meet the icons:
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Alan Shearer 💥: Top scorer (5 goals), elbow-swinging Geordie, and part-time ”I’ll just volley this” merchant.
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Paul Gascoigne 😭: Tears, dentist chairs, and a flick so audacious it broke Scottish hearts.
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David Seaman 🧤: Tash legend, ponytail pioneer, and ”how did that not go in?!” saver.
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Stuart Pearce 😤: Psycho, penalty redemption, and the reason entire nations feared left-foot screams.
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Teddy Sheringham 🎩: Smug smile, late winner vs Holland, and still waiting for that knighthood.
Honours? Zilch 🏆🚫 – unless you count “Best Tournament Anthem” or “Most Creative Penalty Miss Backstory”.
Wear this shirt to flex your “I was there when football nearly came home” nostalgia. Perfect for re-enacting Gazza’s ”what’s a kebab?” goal celebration, Pearce’s ”I’LL TAKE THIS ONE” roar, or Southgate’s ”why did I volunteer?” face.
Note: May trigger sudden urges to shout “IT’S COMING HOME!” at inanimate objects, argue about Golden Goal rules, and blame the Germans (again). Pair with baggy jeans and a lukewarm Stella.
P.S. Warning: Wearing this near Scotland fans may trigger ”Gazza’s goal” PTSD. 🏴😤
