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France 2004 Home Shirt – For Fans Who Think “Quarter-Final Exits” Are a National Hobby 🇫🇷💔

Slip into this navy-blue relic and relive the summer France’s “golden generation” (read: ageing legends) decided Euro 2004 was a vibe check they’d rather fail. 😬 Managed by Jacques Santini (the man who made charisma-free an art form), this squad crashed out to Greece (yes, Greece) in the quarters – because nothing says “We won Euro 2000!” like losing to a team whose tactics were “pray and counter-attack”.

Crafted by Adidas (with collars so stiff they could double as a neck brace), this kit screams “we’ve got Zidane’s bald head, Henry’s pout, and a defence slower than a Parisian queue”. The Hyundai sponsor? A humble brag that even their cars had more engine than this team. 🚗💨

Meet the icons:

• Zinédine Zidane 🧑🦲: Bald genius, free-kick god, and still wondering why he came out of retirement for this.

• Thierry Henry 🚀: Top scorer (2 goals, woo), part-time “I’ll just handball it later” visionary.

• Patrick Vieira 💪: Midfield colossus, Arsenal legend, and the only player who actually turned up.

• Lilian Thuram 🧱: Defender, philosopher, and owner of a “I’ve seen this movie before” sigh.

• Robert Pirès 😎: Wing wizard, benchwarmer, and still waiting for Santini to notice him.

Honours? Nada 🏆🚫 – unless you count “Most Overhyped Squad” or “Best Allez Les Bleus Chorus” (still catchy, tbf).

Wear this shirt to flex your “I remember when France were almost good” delusion. Perfect for re-enacting Zidane’s “why am I here?” shrug, Henry’s “can I speak to the manager?” face, or Pirès’ “I’m too pretty for this” sideline strut.

Note: May trigger sudden urges to blame Santini’s 4-4-2, argue about Henry’s offside “goal” vs Croatia, and cry into a baguette. Pair with berets and existential dread.

P.S. Warning: Wearing this near Greek fans may trigger unsolicited “2004 was our year” lectures. 🇬🇷😤⚽